myLot Discussions on Swiss Army 24043| You learn something new every day... | | What's something weird, odd, or interesting you've learned today (or this week)? I learned how to open a tin can with a Swiss Army Knife. One doesn't usually stop to check and make sure there's still a can opener in the house before one starts cooking. So, I found myself halfway through making a pot of chili, with no way to open my cans of tomatoes! Then, I remembered that I had a Swiss Army Knife that I found in the parking lot at my old job. So, I figured out how to open my cans army-style, and I have one more useful skill to add to my resume. How about you? | |
| | | Lots of Wit and Wisdom | | "I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was -'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?'""Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp." "A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.""Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.""My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'""In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?""I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like... | |
| | What is the best souvenir that you have bought for yourself? | | To me the best souvenir is the Swiss Army Knife which I had bought about ten years ago while holidaying in Switzerland. Till now, it is still functioning and I had never regretted buying it as it serves a lot of purpose in my life. What about you? | |
| | computer jokes | | Car break troubleA Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?"I know," said the Branch Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way.""No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.""Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."
*extra*extra*The... | |
| | Camera phones | | Does anyone else think it's ridiculous that most phones have cameras on them these days?I never felt that I had the need for a camera in my phone, but it seems impossible to find a decent cell phone that doesn't have a camera in it. Who came up with the idea to put cameras in cell phones anyway? A lot of cell phones also let you listen to music and watch video clips as well.I wonder how cellphones will evolve in the future. I could just see a future cell phone that will have a popout travel toothbrush and a small popout toothpaste tube. In the future cell phones will probably have so many gagets packed into them that they will be like swiss army knives. | |
| | Things inside my Handbag | | I do have clutch bag i bring every time i go. I make sure i have my Cell phone, Wallet with ID and Credit card, Face Towel and my Swiss Army Knife. How about yours? | |
| | Funniest Jerry Seinfeld Quotes ...part 2 | | 1.
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me
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There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
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According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason
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The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. "Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here."
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Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."... | |
| | Another Engineer Story (Joke) | | A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?"I know," said the Departmental Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way.""No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.""Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again." | |
| | Your luxury item | | On the tv series, "Survivor," cast members have been allowed to bring along one luxury item. It cannot be a survival item of any kind (like Swiss Army knife or matches). A guy that I actually knew through business, Jeff, was on the Australian season. His luxury item was a coloring book and crayons. People initially seemed to think that was a ridiculous choice. He had cast members color the pictures and he later auctioned off the pages to help fund a charity, so that was pretty cool. Others have taken things like a hairbrush or a journal, a flag or a bible.What would your luxury item be and why? | |
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